Shyness

Shyness is feeling agitated around people- stranger, it’s either the opposite sex, or even your peers. Your extreme self-consciousness affects you in many ways. You get embarrassed, and you think yourself not able to speak. You find it hard to speak up and voice your opinions or preferences. A shy person is a good listener. When shyness restricts you and inhibits you from realizing your potential and harmfully affects your feelings, relationships and work, it’s time to do something on it. First, understand the problem. Shyness does not describe who you are; it describes your behavior, your reactions to situations. You think others are making negative judgments of you, that they don’t like you. Others are better or more normal than you. You expect things to turn out badly. Things will go wrong if you try to relate to other people, and they often do- because you act on your beliefs. How shyness affects your life? If you are not speaking up, not paying attention to others that may leave the impression that you’re stuck-up, unfriendly, bored, uncaring, or ignorant. You let opportunities pass you by. You accept things or situations you really don’t want- all because you’re afraid to speak up and express your opinion. You may lose out on the joys of meeting people and making new friends. But others lose out too, because they don't get the chance to know the real you. How to overcome shyness? First, you should stop worrying on what others say about you. “He who criticizes others lacks sense”. Try to think in a positive way. No one is perfect. All of us have strengths and weaknesses. Learn how to judge others in a fair way. “Love is outgoing; if you have love you think the best of people, not the worst. Some might misjudge you but if you think positive you will feel that was their problem not yours. “. You should learn to be sociable- say hi and try to start a conversation. Dress where you feel comfortable with it, if you feel good and at your best with what you are wearing then you’ll have confidence in yourself and focus on the conversation. Stand straight, be at ease. Look nice and smile, have a friendly eye contact and nod or literally acknowledge what other person says.

Why I don't like myself?

Do you feel bad about yourself? Why? Is it because you are insecure of others? You want to be like them? Want to be accepted by society? “I don’t feel special at all “lamented by kids now a day. Do you say that to yourself too? Everyone needs a certain amount of self-esteem for themselves. Because it’s called “the ingredient that gives dignity to human existence” the bible says “you must love your neighbor as yourself” (Matthew 19:19) If you feel bad about yourself, you will probably feel bad about others too. So why are you having negative feelings about yourself? Is it because you can’t just do anything right? Your limitations may disappoint you, you’re growing up there is a period of awkwardness in which dropping things and bumping into them is an embarrassment. Your “perspective powers” haven’t been sufficiently aimed “through use” so you may not always make the smartest decisions. And that’s the time you may feel that you can’t do anything right. If you fail to meet someone’s expectations could be another cause of low self-esteem. Instead of feeling distress, take those criticism and in stride learn to it. So how can you boost sagging self –esteem? First, take an honest look on your assets and liabilities. Furthermore, do not subterfuge yourself to the fact that you already have assets! Think of some of your virtues. You should set some realistic goals, set goals that are really accessible. Self-respect is useful by-product of accomplishment; you should do a beneficial work. If you do unworthy work, you’re not going to feel good about yourself. You can take joy in whatever work you can do at home or in school by doing it skillfully and particularly. Do some things for others. You won’t gain self-respect if you’re just going to sit back and let others wait for you. Jesus said “whoever wants to become great. Must be a minister”, or servant, for others. Choose your friends carefully; people who are idealistic or insulting can indeed make you feel so bad about yourself. So choose friends who are truly interested in you and who would build you up. “When I am with people who believe in me, I doing great. But when I’m with those who are treating me like an accessory, I feel stupid.” If you know some people are just treating you like an accessory you should get away from them so you won’t feel bad about yourself. Many become egocentric and grossly exaggerate their skills and abilities. Some bring up themselves by putting others down. So be modest, acknowledge your assets, but don’t ignore your own faults. Rather, try working on them.