sedated nightmare

i sing the dying swan's song
listening to the mantra of sobbing souls
a wretched soul, i saw one that is tragically beautiful
the rythym of the mantra slows down
quieting the spirits as they attend to a corpse
then in a sharp and hopeless cry
the scream their dirge
the soul sing to the dying
bloody tears show their misery
and i saw myself, my body
it was out there, lying inside my morbid bed
as a priest stands beside my body
chanting the rites of the dead
int he quiet dawn of my sedated nightmare...

i find...

There is blindness and death
I am surrounded by an ancient bitterness
I'm jagged in ignorance and hypocrisy
Not to be loved and hoped for
I have drained all vitality
Every single drop of life from my core
That i may never feel again, that i may keep my soul from being lost
Once more in the great abyss
Fed by fear, abandoned by faith
CLouded in pain, as i shed my blood for you
You spare me of words of hatred,sorrow and anarchy
You scribble me on your journals
Of things that has touched and torn your heart
The pain in my soul's heart rains upon me
Tormenting me like devil's angels do
And in the blinding light of darkness
i find retribution..

feelings don't mean anything

im so sick of myself,im so lonely
i can't control these tears streaming down my face
it breaks me into pieces
i close my eyes so i can see your face again
why can't you feel the way i'm feeling now?
i hope you like me too
the way i do
i tried to escape the hurt and i'm losing my worthless breath
you left scars in my heart and i'm close to dying
i know it doesn't mean anything to you to you
but let me breathe once more
i wanna hate you so bad but i can't
and with my one last gasping breath i apologize for bleeding on your shirt
you could stay and watch me fall
because every second i'm without you im a mess
worse than the fear it's the lie you told a thousand times before
and it's hard to say how i feel today
cause feelings mean nothing now
breaking apart all this love in my heart
everynight i see you there
everyday i hate you
crying can't carry you back to me
you did all these things i hated
i'll never be around to see
i close my eyes and i can see you dead

black heart

im sitting near the window
watching the world die while listening to my favorite song
tears of blood streaming down my face
you may have left me but you still have my heart
these tears are the statement of my pain
it's getting hard to breathe,getting hatd to see
the feelings are becoming numb,all the pain fading
so stay sweetly numb, maintain lifeless love
lover,i am loveless
all my friends and i toast to health and suicide
it drips with blood as red as his eyes
as deep as the darkened abyss and for that moment
i realize i have nothing left
it's hard to say that i was wrong
it's hard to say i miss
since you've been gone it's not the same
i remember pain and i remember light
i look at myself and i remember death
since when have angels dared to even shine their halos
here in my darkness my black heart

hopeless

how can i over come to this sadness?
can you teach me how to live?
here i am standing in a cold and dark room
watching my heart bleeding and hanging on the ceiling
i want to hold it and get it back but i can't
i feel so numb and i can't see anything clearly
because of these tears blocking my sight
im longing for your touch,your kiss and your love
i feel so hopeless
this anguish inside me grows bigger
and agony is always at my side.
your smile,your touch,your kiss,your love makes me feel good.
but i think i can't feel that anymore
because im trapped in darkness waiting for my demise to come
cause ive been so stupid,weak and vulnerable
im a big fat loser! and you're the winner!
i hope you will pay a visit on my wake and take a look at my romantic coffin
and hoping for you to cry as you bury me on the ground.